Tag: Life story

• Day 22: Counseling improved my life

  My new crush made me realize that I didn’t waste the money on counseling.

  

  Latest Update:

  Finally I went to see the doctor. I got some medicine. Apart from that, I also prepared for tomorrow’s interview. Hope I can get the offer.

  Good news

  Actually, after talking to my new crush yesterday, I gradually realized the psychotherapy worked effectively. I can say that the therapy was way more effective than I expected. However, since I don’t want people around me to know my secret, I removed my personal photos on this website.

  Here is the full-story.

  In the past, even on the first or second meeting with someone new, I would stupidly pour out my trauma and list my achievements, trying to prove my worth. I did them to prove my self-value. Clearly, this is a lack of personal boundary.

  My behavior was very cringe🤦‍♀️.

  Moment of change

  Everything began with my disastrous final year research project.

  I nearly couldn’t submit the project on time due to constant stomach pain, procrastination, and insomnia. I knew the reason very clearly. And the symptoms were too serious that they forced me to take the critical move.

  Things truly started changing until I began to see my counselor in April 2025. Unlike the school counselor, she is an expert in somatic therapy. She uses different therapies to help me releasing the traumatic memories stored in my mind and body. At the same time, she pointed out that I have problems with self-value.

  And she was right.

  After a full year of consistent, rigorous therapy and some big changes to my physical environment, I finally feel like I’m no longer stuck in pure survival mode. Occasionally, the unpleasant things happened in life would make me question the progress of my recovery.

  The worst nightmare of therapy is not the unbearable pain, but the fear of not seeing the end.

  How is it related to my new crush?

  Yesterday, I met my new crush again. We just met each other. I enjoyed the chat so much that I didn’t try to control my mind. I didn’t dump my family trauma or my achievements on my new crush. When she shared her own confusions and uncertainties about life, I wasn’t put off by her “imperfections” at all.

  Most importantly, even though she’s just a crush right now, the uncertainty of where this might go didn’t make me anxious.

  If it doesn’t turn romantic, my new crush could still become a really valuable friend.

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  2026.03.20

• Day 10: Why the second interviews make me give up on the job opportunity

  I feel like I am overqualified for the position.

  

  Latest update:

  • Bought a camera strap
  • Visited the park near my Alma mater
  • Bumped into my secondary school Chinese Literature teacher

  Let’s go on with the unfinished story.

  I got the interview and I think I performed very well.

  But something strange happened.

  For the first time in my life, I felt overqualified for a job—and at the same time, I didn’t feel I should get the offer.

  The full story

  When I arrived, there were seven boys already in the room. I soon realized we were all applying for the same position: Program Assistant at a youth center. The job required shift rotation, including late nights (2 PM to 6 AM).

  Half an hour later, the interviewers asked us to form a circle and introduce ourselves.

  The climax?

  As everyone shared their stories, I suddenly felt like I was living in a different world. Most of them were high-school dropouts or current university students with very different life paths.

  At that moment, I knew I shouldn’t have applied for this position.

  So I turned into a professional actress. I shared my personal experiences, my strengths 💪 and weaknesses 💩, just like everyone else. Even though I knew I wouldn’t get the offer, the show 📽 had to go on.
  

  The hidden story

  Later, the interviewers asked us to share any personal experiences working with or relating to marginalized youth.

  A few of them raised their hands. Their stories were incredibly touching—one even cried while speaking.

  “People always neglect youth facing domestic violence, drug addiction, or street violence. But we really need others to care about us.”

  He was talking about himself.

  In that moment, everything became crystal clear: they were the better candidates. I couldn’t take this role—I simply didn’t have enough relatable lived experience.

  Have you ever walked away from an interview knowing it wasn’t the right fit for you? Or realized someone else was more suited?

  Drop your story below—I’d love to hear 🤍

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  2026.03.08

• Day 5: Overcoming External Opinions

  Live for yourself, not others

  

  Just a short update on Day 5.

  Today’s event

  I met my relatives and had lunch with them. Unsurprisingly, the age gap between us made me found the conversation very boring and lifeless. All they talked about was body check and diet advice.

  However, a moment also made me realize that I am not confident enough.

  When one of them asked if I would get a master’s degree, I said no. He then lower his voice and said,

  ” You are not good at studying, so it is of no use to pursue a master’s degree.”

  His words sounded unpleasant in my ears. I knew it was because I had grown up in a very toxic family environment that never allowed me to focus on my studies.

  My family members struggle with severe mental illness. They often couldn’t control their temper and fought constantly. Their toxic behavior suffocated me emotionally, leaving me drained and unable to concentrate.

  (Since I was living in a chaotic household, I would say that if I care about my health and well-being, I can guarantee that I wouldn’t be able to get my degree.)

  Despite that, I didn’t fight back or tried to convince him. I understood that it was meaningless to explain to others the difficulties you are facing in life.

  I felt like other people didn’t understand my situation, but sometimes you can’t expect everyone will know your backstory. This is a topic I have to work on –

  How not to be affected by other people.

  I believe that one day I can tackle this issue and live freely.

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  2026.03.02