Have you ever realized that
After talking to the alumna, a question that had bothered me for years surfaced again:
“Do we have control over our fate?”
呢段自我剖析非常之深刻。你唔單止睇到表面嘅「唔好彩」，仲挖到入去潛意識入面嗰個「人生劇本」（Life Script）。發覺自己原來一直喺度「自編自導自演」一場英雄救美（救自己）嘅大戲，呢種覺醒係好痛但好有用嘅。
以下係我為你準備嘅標題建議、廣東話評語，以及英文語法嘅潤飾。
Suggested Titles (For Medium/WordPress)
- The “Hero” Trap: Why I Sabotage My Own Success to Seek a Miracle (英雄陷阱：點解我要破壞自己嘅成功嚟換取神蹟？)
- Does Fate Control Us? My Realization About “Life Scripts” and Self-Sabotage (命運真係有得制？關於「人生劇本」與自我破壞嘅覺悟)
- I Don’t Want to Be a Professional; I Want to Be a Miracle: A Journey into Transactional Analysis (我唔想做專業人士，我想做神蹟：一場心理分析之旅)
- The Missing SD Card: How My Childhood “Script” Almost Ruined My Career (嗰張消失咗嘅 SD Card：我嘅童年「劇本」點樣差啲搞喎我嘅事業)
Cantonese Commentary (廣東話評語) 💬
睇完你呢段文字，我覺得你真係好勇敢。好多人一世都只會怨「點解我咁黑仔？」，但你竟然可以透過 Eric Berne 嘅理論，睇穿自己原來係喺度**「博老命證明自己係英雄」**。
你提到嗰個「英雄 vs 滿分學生」嘅對比真係好正。喺你嘅劇本入面，如果一切順風順水咁成功，嗰份成功係屬於「準備工夫」嘅；但如果喺「全世界都逼死你、冇電冇卡」嘅絕境之下依然成功，嗰份功勞就係屬於你嗰種「超凡嘅個人能力」或者「天意」。呢種諗法其實係想同你父母講：「就算你哋唔睇好我、就算全世界都唔幫我，我依然可以奇蹟生還。」
但係咁樣玩真係好攰。 👻 正如你所講，要做一個「專業人士」，穩定性（Stability）比奇蹟更重要。奇蹟係唔可以 Scaling（規模化）嘅，但係「準備」可以。你而家意識到呢個 Pattern，其實已經係「破局」嘅第一步。下次當你又想「唔帶電、唔帶卡」嘅時候，你就會聽到內心有個聲同你講：「喂，英雄戲又開鏡喇喎，今次不如試下做個『普通但專業』嘅人先？」
Grammar & Style Refinement (English)
Here is a refined version of your text. I kept your storytelling style but smoothed out the flow and fixed technical terms (like “lens” and “independence”).
After talking to the alumna, a question that had bothered me for years surfaced again: “Do we truly have control over our fate?”
That same day, I borrowed the Chinese edition of What Do You Say After You Say Hello? by Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis.
His theory is sophisticated, but one specific premise helped me identify a recurring problem in my life. He stated that our “script” is written based on commands from our parents, and this script determines our life path unless we take conscious intervention.
Reflecting on this, several patterns flashed through my mind:
- The Disappearing Act: Tools or resources would often vanish right before I started an important task.
- The Crisis Cycle: I frequently found myself in problematic, or even life-threatening, situations 🥶– only for the problem to be solved by a “weird” stroke of luck at the last second.
This happened in Laos when I brought the company camera to a remote province, only to discover the SD card was missing. I was already rushing to the airport.
Miraculously, a nearby camera shop, which was supposed to be closed had the owner arrive just as I stood outside looking hopeless. I saw it as a miracle that saved me, allowing me to film the UXO Team operation.
Here is another story. (if you are interested, please read the original post.)
Then it happened again in Hong Kong. The day before a volunteer videography gig, I couldn’t find my extra battery for my Lumix GH5 📹. My father had been rearranging my things, and the battery had vanished 🤯.
I had to tell the host I only had one battery. Fortunately, they had a charger that ensured we could finish the shoot. The organizers loved the work, but I realized this cannot happen again if I want to be a “professional.”
It can’t happen again if I want to become a “professional”.
Beneath the Surface
When I recognized this pattern, I was shocked. I realized I could have taken steps to ensure success instead of relying on luck. In Laos, I could have bought a spare card the moment I arrived. In Hong Kong, I should have bought an extra battery while renting a lens. My environment affected my decision-making, but that is no excuse for failing to be prepared.
What caused these scenarios? Looking back, I found the root cause was fear of people and a desperate urge to prove my ability.
Growing up without much warmth, I lost hope in the adults and children around me. I “recognized” early on that people couldn’t be relied upon.
So, who could I trust? Animals 🐷? God? Some supernatural power ⚡️?
I chose the supernatural. Whenever I faced a problem, instead of fixing it through logic, I subconsciously hoped for a miracle to save me.
The Hero vs. The Student
There’s another layer: my role in these “accidents.” If I finish a task under extreme duress, it proves my skill more than if everything had gone smoothly. It was my impulse to refute my parents’ low opinions of my ability. I didn’t want to be a “full-mark student” who followed the rules; I wanted to be the hero who survived the impossible.
This discovery completely blew my mind. For people who want to succeed, this may be an inspiration. 🤡
Feel free to share your thoughts and drop your comments!
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