Tag: Success

• The “Hero” Trap: Why I Sabotage My Own Success to Seek a Miracle

  Have you ever realized that

  

  After talking to the alumna, a question that had bothered me for years surfaced again:

  That same day, I borrowed the Chinese edition of What Do You Say After You Say Hello? by Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis.

  His theory is sophisticated, but one specific premise helped me identify a recurring problem in my life. He stated that our “script” is written based on commands from our parents, and this script determines our life path unless we take conscious intervention.

  Reflecting on this, several patterns flashed through my mind:

  1. The Disappearing Act: Tools or resources would often vanish right before I started an important task.
  2. The Crisis Cycle: I frequently found myself in problematic, or even life-threatening, situations 🥶– only for the problem to be solved by a “weird” stroke of luck at the last second.

  This happened in Laos when I brought the company camera to a remote province, only to discover the SD card was missing. I was already rushing to the airport.

  Miraculously, a nearby camera shop, which was supposed to be closed had the owner arrive just as I stood outside looking hopeless. I saw it as a miracle that saved me, allowing me to film the UXO Team operation.

  

  Here is another story. (if you are interested, please read the original post.)

  Then it happened again in Hong Kong. The day before a volunteer videography gig, I couldn’t find my extra battery for my Lumix GH5 📹. My father had been rearranging my things, and the battery had vanished 🤯.

  I had to tell the host I only had one battery. Fortunately, they had a charger that ensured we could finish the shoot. The organizers loved the work, but I realized this cannot happen again if I want to be a “professional.”

  It can’t happen again if I want to become a “professional”.

  Beneath the Surface

  When I recognized this pattern, I was shocked. I realized I could have taken steps to ensure success instead of relying on luck. In Laos, I could have bought a spare card the moment I arrived. In Hong Kong, I should have bought an extra battery while renting a lens. My environment affected my decision-making, but that is no excuse for failing to be prepared.

  What caused these scenarios? Looking back, I found the root cause was fear of people and a desperate urge to prove my ability.

  Growing up without much warmth, I lost hope in the adults and children around me. I “recognized” early on that people couldn’t be relied upon.

  So, who could I trust? Animals 🐷? God? Some supernatural power ⚡️?

  I chose the supernatural. Whenever I faced a problem, instead of fixing it through logic, I subconsciously hoped for a miracle to save me.

  The Hero vs. The Student

  There’s another layer: my role in these “accidents.” If I finish a task under extreme duress, it proves my skill more than if everything had gone smoothly. It was my impulse to refute my parents’ low opinions of my ability. I didn’t want to be a “full-mark student” who followed the rules; I wanted to be the hero who survived the impossible.

  This discovery completely blew my mind. For people who want to succeed, this may be an inspiration. 🤡

  Feel free to share your thoughts and drop your comments!

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  2026.04.23

• The Great Lie: Why Work Experience Won’t Save You from a Life Crisis

  

  While I am practicing to be more self-aware of my emotions, I reflected on the events in my life, and I discovered a lie I’ve heard for a long time.

  For a long time, we’ve been told a simple lie:

  The Academia Path📚: Slows down your development and makes you prone to a life crisis.

  The Practical Path (Work)🗃: Accelerates your socialization and helps you find your “direction.”

  That is to say if you choose work, you are “safe” from the existential dread that scholars face. But this is a trap.

  Two weeks ago, I spoke with an alumna of my UNV program.Two weeks ago, I talked to an alumnus of my UNV🇺🇳 program in Hong Kong.

  Despite our conversation lasted for 50 minutes only, her honest sharing was enough stress me out.

  Our only intersection was the program I joined. Unlike me, she was graduated from a competitive university and had been working for UNFPA for a year. Also, she won the Chevening scholarship. And her secondary school gives her the greatest networking opportunities in Hong Kong.

  Now, at 31, she’s a senior officer at an INGO.

  During our conversation, although she didn’t always express herself clearly, her answers were very honest.

  “Do you like your job?” I asked.

  “I just do the work,” she said.

  Then I asked another question.

  “If you were financially independent, would you stay in your current position? “

  “How can I achieve financial independence? I have to work for so many years! I can’t achieve financial freedom. If I am financially independent, I can do things I want. “

  “Have you found your direction→?”, I asked.

  When I asked about her direction, she said, “I’m still exploring. I’m not that old!”

  I had to laugh. 😂

  Even though I am not sure whether I will meet her again, she gave me a valuable lesson💎.

  

  I don’t want to play her game at her age…A life without passion and financial stability. If I don’t want to play the same game, I have to make different decisions.

  At the same time, she also proves that degrees from great schools and brilliant working experience can’t guarantee a satisfying life.

  When I shared this story with another friend, who is the same age of the alumna, she said she feels the same. But she just got her PHD.

  It is clear that a PhD and work experience cannot give you a sense of stability in life. And if there is no stability in life, then why do we need to worry about it?

  Feel free to drop your comment below to share your thoughts and opinions!😄

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  2026.04.09