The power of forgiveness is unlimited
I faced the biggest challenge I have ever had since I came to Laos. I was betrayed and deceived by a person that holds an important status in my heart. I was shattered by her betrayal and lies. Ironically, my sorrow and rage did not make me happier. I was indulged in my own anger and couldn’t jump out of the loop. My negative emotions were too strong that they even affected my performance.
Fortunately, I have a good friend who can help me let go of my negative feelings. We talked about the incident, and she analyzed the situation for me. Gradually I could understand why the person hurt me so deeply-she did it to fill in the abyss in her heart. In most of the time of her life, the girl didn’t have the chance to live authentically. She gave up on her free will and lived under her parents’ and society expectation. She felt like she has no identity. On the surface, she looks intelligent and smart. However, her heart was void and she was always in a chaotic mode.
“She is not an asshole. She is just emotionally immature. She has spent her whole life to study only; how come she know about relationships and boundaries? Forgive her.”, said my friend.
At that moment, I understood the intention behind her behavior. Followed by this new discovery was the sudden evaporation of my hatred and anger towards her. Sometimes I would laugh at myself-how can I forgive a person that hurt me badly easily? Maybe I enjoy the joy of being an imperfect “saint”. However, if we can understand other people’s intention behind their behaviors, we may have a more peaceful and wonderful world.
The next day, I felt more relieved and was in high mood. I learned that if I want to live happily, I should be generous and don’t let my mind occupied by negative thoughts.
